An essential aspect of creativity is not being afraid to fail.
-Samuel Johnson
My first real encounter with chemistry as a subject was in third year high school. That year was an extra tough one for me, probably because of a general condition that sweeps most students across the world: math and science anxiety.
To make matters worse, aside from the chemistry subject, I had two math subjects to hurdle. Back then, just a glance at the science and math books or thinking of an impending exam on these subjects would make me break out in a cold sweat.
That unenthusiastic attitude certainly didn’t help much in my college years. Even with the most accommodating and brilliant professors, I found it hard to shake off the sense of trepidation when I encounter formulas, algebraic expressions and equations. In retrospect, the blame is chiefly on my doorstep. I had viewed learning in science and math as a solitary undertaking where I could either sink or swim on my own. Thus, I never made an effort to study with my peers off class hours. I was so introverted that volunteering information in class was totally inconceivable. Even asking relevant questions about a certain topic was a major feat and on rare occasions when I managed to muster enough courage to inquire, I often ended up with mangled nerves that would persist until I went to bed.
It completely floored me when our academic coordinator assigned me to teach science . I was a fresh graduate then and as a new teacher, I didn’t have the guts to complain or voice out my uncertainty. It took me several months to get used to the idea , to finally accept that I was resigned to a fate of teaching science and to enjoy the challenge and perks that the post entailed. As I struggled and learned the tricks of the trade, I began to realize how much I missed by not being assertive in my years as a student. The more I observed the free interaction among my pupils, the greater I perceived the beauty of studying with others and creating an environment where it is okay to make mistakes. My previous experience strengthened my resolve to always create a classroom atmosphere where exchange of ideas is a natural occurrence. Somehow, science and math classes became less intimidating when they are associated with the fun of group interaction.
I was deeply reminded of these sentiments when I returned as a science student again, even if this time, I enrolled in MST (Teaching General Science). The same ghost of apprehension assailed me. It turned out that I was worrying over nothing. The class in ScEd 205 last June 26, 2005 was totally tension-free without sacrificing the essence of learning. I could think of several reasons, but foremost of which is the mutual interests of the learners who are mostly educators created an atmosphere of comfortable camaraderie. I guess, the introduction part successfully broke the ice. I was even surprised to note that time seemed to have flown so swiftly. It was quite a contrast from my previous science subjects when I was a student, when I would glance at the wall clock ever so often, they might have fallen off the wall had I been telepathetic.
We covered a multitude of interesting topics but the one which left an indelible mark was the realization of what makes chemistry such a tough nut to crack: its abstract nature. I have always wondered as a chemistry student then and as a science teacher now what’s so baffling about this subject, especially since most of my more capable pupils seem to find it more harrowing than any of the other topics in science. At last, now I know that this adversary has a name. Identifying the name of the problem seemed to have made it less intimidating. It won’t make chemistry any less easier to teach or to understand but at least, I’m certain why I have to put extra effort and patience in dealing with such a challenging subject matter.
I hope to gain more insights about chemistry as a subject and teaching chemistry in our next encounters in ScEd 205 through the guidance of our teacher, Ma’am Maya and from the personal sharing of my classmates. I’m looking forward to other fruitful and camaraderie-enhanced learning sessions.
